i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
