I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
