I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
