you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
