Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
