Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
