First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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