I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
