I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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