Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
