dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
