Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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