Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
