I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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