How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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