I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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