You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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