Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize