a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
