Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
