dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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