I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize