Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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