highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
