think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
