every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
