It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize