I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
