My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize