dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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