Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You're a waste of cheezeits
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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