Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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