Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
