dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
