so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
