After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
