Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Randomize
