i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
