so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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