You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I think a kid would responsible me up
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
