hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
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