is your mom at the bar?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
