just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
