tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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