hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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