Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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