if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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