You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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