His pubic hair was longer than his dick
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
