You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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