i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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