quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize