it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
