I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
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