THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
My breath smells like gin and sadness
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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