I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
