hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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