when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize