can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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