I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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