Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
