The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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