he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
