I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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