I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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