its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
