I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize