A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
